Restless

The other day, I looked at my eBird profile to review my species count for the year. As of today, 7/12/2026, I have fallen behind my pace in previous years. eBird, a great resources to monitor bird population trends and to record personal observations and media, has become my unofficial travelogue, much like Wanderlog or TripIT. Past trips come to mind when I review my checklists: Florida, Sax-Zim Bog, Japan, China, South Africa, Madagascar.

This year, after I had planned to do a manageable lower-48 Big Year, my travels have been curtailed. It has been a Big Year in a different, non-birding sense. I bought a house! That statement is worthy of at least one exclamation mark!

With the new status of homeowner comes the new responsibilities of furnishing and zhuzhing up the property. Indoors and out, renovations have been taking time. The growing responsibilities have become overwhelming. As I say this, though, I’m sure the end result of all this effort will be spectacular.

While I am happy to have a home to call my own, it has taken away something else that I have come to enjoy: Travelling and Birding.

The truth is that my time and motivation for birding has declined. In all honesty, I am not sure why. Perhaps I am trying to learn other topics or pursue other activities, such as finishing all of the books in my library.

I also feel, though, that any time spent not working on the house is time wasted. Certainly, I’m not the only person who has gone through this when becoming a first-time homeowner.

Over the past few days, I have gone through alternating feelings of melancholy and wanderlust. Listening to songs like “Southern Cross” and “Out There” have accentuated my feelings. My recent books have been predominantly adventure and exploration books.

I realize that I have become restless.

I have, these days, been fantasizing about my soon-to-be-realized-but-may-never-happen Big Year. I want to complete that lower-48 USA Big Year, but I am dreaming bigger.

So big, in fact, that only the whole wide world will suffice.

I don’t think anything really cures restlessness or wanderlust. It only grows stronger with each passing day.

Perhaps restlessness is a good thing. I will find somewhere in the world to go.

If there are birds, I’m going.